Gorilla Basics

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Gorilla Basics
February 13, 2017 Clinton Callahan

I want to clear up once and for all any misconceptions about human beings having similarities to the race of gorillas. The clarification is scientific. Human beings are not like gorillas. No. Human beings are gorillas.

If you make efforts to remember that your partner is a human being and also a gorilla you may find yourself able to avoid an endless stream of nerve-wracking little conflicts. For example, if the woman wants to have a conversation with her man she would be wise to remember Gorilla Basics: There are certain times when a gorilla can be talked to and certain times when he cannot! Never try to start a conversation with your gorilla when he is hungry, tired, sick, horny, when the football game is on, or when it is time to leave.

The woman might be thinking, “But that’s all the time! When can I ever talk to him then?” The secret is to give him a little time to prepare. Make an appointment. Say, “What is a good time today that we can talk together for twenty minutes?” Telling him how much time the talking will take is crucial. The time limit calms a gorilla right down. If you don’t give an end time the gorilla flips into a panic that the talking will continue without end. For a male gorilla such kind of talking is unbearable. To make the time together even more congenial you could also feed him, rest him, take care of him…

“But, but…,” she says. “But that’s not fair! The gorilla should take care of himself!” Think of it this way. Becoming aware of Gorilla Basics may be shocking, but conscious preparations for your interactions make for more conscious interactions. What kind of interactions do you want? When the gorilla parts of us are intentionally taken care of then we are not interrupted by our gorilla needs.

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